Pebbling refers to the behavior of sending partners, friends, and family memes, small gifts, or performing small deeds to let them know you are thinking of them to build social connection. Pebbling is an accessible, efficient, and inclusive low-risk form of communication that can provide a validating and comforting emotional impact. Pebbling promotes human bonding through homophily.[1]
Examples of physical pebbling including sending postcards, handwritten notes, picking flowers, or purchasing trinkets.[2] [3] Digital pebbling includes sending memes, videos, tweets, and TikToks.[4] A stoppage in pebbling could be interpreted as ghosting.[5]
Pebbling originates from Adélie penguin and Gentoo penguins who present smooth pebbles used for nest-building to their partner as part of their courtship display.[6] [7]
Adélie penguin and Gentoo penguins are species of penguins that present smooth pebbles used for nest-building to their partner as part of their courtship display. Male Gentoo penguins, who mate for life, will present a female with a stone. If a female is impressed, she too will find a stone, and they will go back and forth collecting the perfect rock collection until a nest is built [8] .
Like the Gentoo penguins, Adélie penguins live on icy ground when they are on land. They use the pebbles to line a small depression in the ground, where the stones can keep the eggs dry by allowing snow and water to flow around them.[9]
As a form of nonverbal communication, pebbling gestures are used by neurodivergent people who struggle with traditional forms of affection.[10] It is considered one of the five neurodivergent love languages, the others being: infodumping, parallel play, support swapping, and deep pressure.[11] Some neurodivergent people have a different way of processing and experiencing emotions and information.