Amatonormativity Explained

Amatonormativity is the set of societal assumptions that everyone prospers with an exclusive romantic relationship. Elizabeth Brake coined the neologism to capture societal assumptions about romance.[1] [2] Brake wanted to describe the pressure she received by many to prioritize marriage in her own life when she did not want to. Amatonormativity extends beyond social pressures for marriage to include general pressures involving romance.[2] [3]

Etymology

The word amatonormativity comes from amatus, which is the Latin word for "loved", and normativity, referring to societal norms.[4] Another word which is similarly related to the word amatonormativity is amative. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word amative as: strongly moved by love and especially sexual love. Relating to or indicative of love. Amorous is a closely related word also derived from amatus.[5] Related terms include allonormativity, which means a worldview that assumes all people experience sexual and romantic attraction, and compulsory sexuality, which means social norms and practices that marginalizes non-sexuality.[6]

The term was modeled after the term heteronormativity, the belief that heterosexuality is the default for sexual orientation.[2] Normative bias against ethical non-monogamy in particular is instead known as mononormativity.[7]

Examples

Elizabeth Brake describes the term as a pressure or desire for monogamy, romance, and/or marriage.The desire to find relationships that are romantic, sexual, monogamous, and lifelong has many social consequences. People who are asexual, aromantic, and/or nonmonogamous become social oddities. According to researcher Bella DePaulo, it puts a stigma on single people as incomplete and pushes romantic partners to stay in unhealthy relationships because of a fear the partners may have of being single.[8]

According to Brake, one way in which amatonormativity is institutionally applied is the law and morality surrounding marriage. Loving friendships, queerplatonic, and other relationships are not given the same legal protections romantic partners are given through marriage.[9]

Brake wrote a book, Minimizing Marriage, in which she defines amatonormativity as "the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship."[10]

See also

Notes and References

  1. News: Do you feel under pressure to find The One? . 15 July 2020 . . 2020 . 15 July 2020 . https://web.archive.org/web/20200715002159/https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zfjx6v4 . live .
  2. News: Bonos . Lisa . Bugging your friend to get into a relationship? How amatonormative of you. . subscription . 14 July 2020 . . 6 July 2017 . 14 October 2020 . https://web.archive.org/web/20201014112833/https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/07/06/what-is-amatonormativity-the-belief-that-youre-always-better-off-in-a-romantic-relationship/ . live (leave param in note so citation will prioritize archive link)-->.
  3. Web site: Brake . Elizabeth . Amatonormativity . Elizabeth Drake . 29 August 2017 . 14 July 2020 . 22 April 2018 . https://web.archive.org/web/20180422045037/https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/ . live .
  4. News: Baer . Drake . There's a word for the assumption that everybody should be in a relationship . 14 July 2020 . The Week Publications Inc . 31 March 2017 . 15 July 2020 . https://web.archive.org/web/20200715125406/https://theweek.com/articles/688887/theres-word-assumption-that-everybody-should-relationship . dead.
  5. Web site: Amative . merriam-webster . Merriam-Webster dictionaries . 14 July 2020 . 15 July 2020 . https://web.archive.org/web/20200715073735/https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/amative . live .
  6. Book: Mollet . Amanda L. . Lackman . Brian . Allonormativity and Compulsory Sexuality . Encyclopedia of Queer Studies in Education . 24 January 2021 . Brill . 978-90-04-50672-5 . 10.1163/9789004506725_006 . https://brill.com/display/book/9789004506725/BP000013.xml . subscription . en . 4 July 2023 . 21 March 2023 . https://web.archive.org/web/20230321225531/https://brill.com/display/book/9789004506725/BP000013.xml . live .
  7. Keese . Christian . 2016 . Marriage, Law and Polyamory. Rebutting Mononormativity with Sexual Orientation Discourse? . Oñati Socio-legal Series . 6 . 6 . 1348 . December 24, 2020 . April 22, 2018 . https://web.archive.org/web/20180422221600/http://opo.iisj.net/index.php/osls/article/viewFile/734/960 . live .
  8. Web site: There's a Word for the Assumption That Everybody Should Be in a Relationship . 8 March 2017 . The Cut . 2 March 2019 . 6 March 2019 . https://web.archive.org/web/20190306050618/https://www.thecut.com/2017/03/amatonormativity-everybody-should-be-coupled-up.html . live .
  9. Web site: Should Marriage Be Abolished, Minimized, or Left Alone? . Psychology Today . 2 March 2019 . 4 July 2023 . https://web.archive.org/web/20230704225025/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201207/should-marriage-be-abolished-minimized-or-left-alone . live .
  10. News: Sharpe . Brianna . Why These Families Want To Queer Valentine's Day . 14 July 2020 . . 12 February 2020 . 14 July 2020 . https://web.archive.org/web/20200714234157/https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/valentines-day-gender_ca_5e444684c5b61b84d3440f4f . live .

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