"Welcome to the Medical Clinic at the Interplanetary Relay Station │ Hours Since the Last Patient Death: 0" is a science fiction short story by Caroline M. Yoachim. It was first published in Lightspeed, in March 2016.
"Welcome to the Medical Clinic at the Interplanetary Relay Station" is a second-person narrative in the style of a gamebook, depicting a scenario in which an employee of a space station seeks medical care for an injury. At various points throughout the story, the reader is offered a choice as to what the employee should do; however, all choices lead to the employee's "horrible, painful death".
"Welcome to the Medical Clinic at the Interplanetary Relay Station" was a finalist for the Nebula Award for Best Short Story of 2016.[1] Kirkus Reviews felt that the story led to "hilarity",[2] while Tangent Online called it "terrifically funny".[3] Rocket Stack Rank found it to be "very silly", but considered this to be a negative.[4]