Rumpology or bottom reading is a pseudoscience akin to physiognomy, performed by examining crevices, dimples, warts, moles and folds of a person's buttocks in much the same way a chirologist would read the palm of the hand.[1]
The term rumpology is a neologism. The late American astrologer Jackie Stallone claimed that rumpology is known to have been practiced in ancient times by the Babylonians, the Indians, and the Ancient Greeks and Romans.[2]
Rumpologists have a variety of theories as to the meaning of different posterior characteristics. According to Stallone, the left and right buttocks reveal a person's past and future, respectively, although she has also commented that "The crack of your behind corresponds to the division of the two hemispheres of the brain".[3] According to blind German clairvoyant and rumpologist Ulf Buck, an "apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life. A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."[4] The British rumpologist Sam Amos claims that "A round bottom indicates the person is open, happy and optimistic in life. However, a flat bottom suggests the person is rather vain and is negative and sad."[5]
Rumpology can be performed either by sight, touch or by using buttock prints.[2] In addition to live readings, Jackie Stallone performed buttock readings using e-mailed digital photographs,[6] and has claimed to predict the outcome of Presidential elections and Oscar awards by reading the bottoms of her two pet Doberman Pinschers.[7] Ulf Buck, who is blind, claims he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.[4]