| I Hate the French | |
| Artist: | Howard Goodall |
| Album: | Live in Belfast |
| Released: |
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| Recorded: | 19 or 20 September 1980 |
| Genre: | Comedy |
| Length: | 2:43 |
| Composer: | Howard Goodall |
| Lyricist: | Richard Curtis |
| Label: | Arista |
| Producer: | George Nicholson |
"I Hate the French" is a satirical comedy song performed live by Howard Goodall during Rowan Atkinson's 1980 tour of the United Kingdom. A live recording was made at the Grand Opera House in Belfast, Northern Ireland, on 19 or 20 September 1980 and released on Rowan Atkinson's live comedy album, Live in Belfast; it was also released as a single. The music was composed by Goodall and the lyrics were written by comedy writer Richard Curtis.
The lyrics are a comical criticism of the French and are a deliberately hypocritical complaint about their treatment towards the English. The song contains many French stereotypes, references to famous French people and references to things often associated with France, e.g. berets, French bread, French wine and cheese. The lyrics also use irony (e.g. claiming the French stole the word "cul-de-sac" from the English language) and a double entendre ("I'll be buggered if I go to gay Paris").