Hybristophilia Explained

Hybristophilia is a paraphilia involving sexual interest in and attraction to those who commit crimes. Many high-profile criminals, particularly those who have committed atrocious crimes, receive "fan mail" in prison that is sometimes amorous or sexual, presumably because of this phenomenon. While less common, hybristophilia can also occur in men with female serial killers. In some cases, admirers of these criminals have gone on to marry the object of their affections in prison.^{[1] [2]} In popular culture, this phenomenon is also known as the "Bonnie and Clyde syndrome".^[3]

The term hybristophilia is coined by John Money in 1986^[4] and is derived from the Greek word (Greek, Ancient (to 1453);: ὑβρίζειν), meaning "to commit an outrage against someone" (ultimately derived from Greek, Ancient (to 1453);: ὕβρις, "hubris"), and philo, meaning "having a strong affinity/preference for".^[5]

Causes

Some speculations have been offered as to the cause of hybristophilia. Katherine Ramsland, a professor of forensic psychology at DeSales University, discusses the condition in women and mentions that some of the women who have married or dated male serial killers have offered the following reasons:^[1]

• "Some believe they can change a man as cruel and powerful as a serial killer."
• "Others 'see' the little boy that the killer once was and seek to nurture him."
• "A few hoped to share in the media spotlight or get a book or movie deal."
• "Then there's the notion of the 'perfect boyfriend'. She knows where he is at all times, and she knows he's thinking about her. While she can claim that someone loves her, she does not have to endure the day-to-day issues involved in most relationships. There's no laundry to do, no cooking for him, and no accountability to him. She can keep the fantasy charged up for a long time."

Others offered reasons along the lines of: "Some mental health experts have compared infatuation with killers to extreme forms of fanaticism. They view such individuals as insecure people who cannot find love in normal ways or as 'love-avoidant' females who seek romantic relationships that cannot be consummated." Psychologist Leon F. Seltzer proposes the condition could be related to the riskiness involved with dating a criminal, the desire to tame or fix them, and primitive instincts based on evolutionary psychology. In the latter theory, he mentions dominance is attractive as it would mean such men could protect women and their offspring, according to evolutionary history. Seltzer says women today may consciously realize that it is unwise to date a serial killer, but they are nevertheless attracted to them; he stated, "as a therapist I've encountered many women who bemoaned their vulnerability toward dominant men who, consciously, they recognized were all wrong for them".

As evidence of women's fantasy preference for dominant men, he refers to the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the World's Largest Experiment Reveals about Human Desire by Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam. Seltzer discusses Ogas and Gaddam's argument that this fantasy is the dominant plot of most erotic/romantic books and movies written for women, but the fantasy always holds that this male dominance is conditional, "it doesn't really represent the man's innermost reality". He also says in reality, very few women are actually swayed by these "primitive instincts".

Elizabeth Gurian wrote that hybristophilia may be a result of an individual being the victim of abuse or having a seeking behavior.^[6] Social media contributions for an easier method of showcasing attraction to the criminal hybristophilia have also been noted about; a 2023 paper stated that "If social media platforms including TikTok provide users with the ability to freely express themselves publicly and anonymously, then individuals wanting to showcase and share their affection and admiration for criminal offenders might opt to utilize these platforms for this purpose."^[7] A linkage was also made to the case of it being for the purpose of 'controlling fear', in which people consciously or unconsciously deny the threat in accordance with the extended parallel process model.^[8]

Women who write love letters to or even pursue men who are incarcerated for a crime are sometimes referred to as a prison groupie or a serial killer groupie.^{[9] [10] [11]}

Notable examples

• One of the most infamous examples of hybristophilia is the large number of women attracted to Ted Bundy after his arrest.^{[12] [13]} He often drew scores of women at the jammed courtrooms of his trials each day.^[14] Bundy allegedly received hundreds of love letters from women while he was incarcerated, and married a woman, Carole Ann Boone, whom he had met while both were working in Washington. He proposed to her in the middle of proceedings while Boone was on the witness stand. Boone gave birth to a daughter whom it was believed Bundy had fathered.^{[15] [16]}
• Jeffrey Dahmer, a serial killer, is said to have had amorous women sending him letters, money, and other gifts during his time in prison despite being a gay man and a cannibal.^[17]
• Richard Ramirez, the "Night Stalker" who killed 13 people and had "more than a passing interest" in Satanism, had fans who would write him letters and pay him visits. This included Doreen Lioy, who married him in California's San Quentin State Prison on October 3, 1996.^[18] However, Lioy eventually broke ties with Ramirez in 2009 after DNA confirmed he had raped and murdered 9-year-old Mei Leung, though it seems she never legally filed for divorce.
• Cult leader orchestrator Charles Manson's fangirls are also examples.^[19]
• Terrorists such as Ted Kaczynski,^[20] Timothy McVeigh, Anders Behring Breivik,^[21] and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev^[22] have also been the objects of hybristophilia.
• School shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold have been notable for being posthumously subjected to hybristophilia.^[23]
• Karla Homolka, a serial killer who acted as an accomplice to her husband Paul Bernardo, is considered to be a hybristophile by some forensic psychiatrists.^[24]
• Jeremy Meeks, following his 2014 arrest for felony weapon charges, went viral on Facebook for his appearance in his mugshot. After his release, he became a fashion model.^{[25] [26]}

Further reading

• Book: Sheila Isenberg . Women Who Love Men Who Kill . third . Backinprint.com . 2000 . 978-0-595-00399-0.
• Book: Jacquelynne Willcox-Bailey . Dream Lovers: Women Who Marry Men Behind Bars . Wakefield Press . 1999 . 978-1-86254-381-2.
• Web site: Why are women drawn to men behind bars? . The Guardian . 13 January 2003.
• Web site: Women who have killer instincts . The Independent . 27 January 2005 . https://web.archive.org/web/20071001000546/http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/crime/article16901.ece . 2007-10-01.
• Web site: Liz O'Keefe . The partners of prisoners: Their reality, how they contribute to the criminal justice system and prisoner rehabilitation and how we can assist . https://web.archive.org/web/20080801000405/http://www.aic.gov.au/conferences/womencorrections/okeefe.pdf . 2008-08-01 . paper presented at the Women in Corrections: Staff and Clients conference convened by the Australian Institute of Criminology in conjunction with the Department for Correctional Services South Australia, October 31 – November 1, 2000, Adelaide, Australia.

Notes and References

1. Web site: Ramsland . Katherine . 20 April 2012 . Women Who Love Serial Killers . 13 May 2013 . Psychology Today.
2. Web site: Seltzer . Leon F. . 24 April 2012 . Why Do Women Fall for Serial Killers? . 13 May 2013 . Psychology Today.
3. Web site: Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome Is a Real Thing - Nerve . https://web.archive.org/web/20171113222427/http://www.nerve.com/love/the-bonnie-and-clyde-syndrome-sex . 2017-11-13 . Internet Archive.
4. Book: Money, John . Lovemaps: Clinical concepts of sexual/erotic health and pathology, paraphilia, and gender transposition in childhood, adolescence, and maturity . 1986 . Irvington Publishers . 263.
5. Book: Eric W. Hickey. Sex crimes and paraphilia. 2006. Pearson Education. Upper Saddle River, N.J.. 978-0-13-170350-6. 197–9.
6. Gurian . Elizabeth A. . 2013 . Explanations of mixed-sex partnered homicide: A review of sociological and psychological theory . Aggression and Violent Behavior . 18 . 5 . 520–526 . 10.1016/j.avb.2013.07.007 . 1359-1789.
7. Williams . Thomas James Vaughan . Slater . Harriet Emily . Tamayo Gomez . Camilo . 2025-02-01 . Unpacking the Construction of Online Identities of Hybristophilia Communities on TikTok . Deviant Behavior . 46 . 2 . 179–194 . 10.1080/01639625.2024.2338273 . 0163-9625.
8. Web site: Syed . Noor . 2023-01-03 . Fear to Love: Fear Could Explain Women's Attraction toward Male Serial Killers . 2025-01-28 . doi.org . 9.
9. News: Poniewozik . James . April 2, 2018 . Review: 'The Last O.G.' Searches for Brooklyn, and Itself (Published 2018) . The New York Times . NYTimes.com.
10. Mailhot, Terese. "Paul Simon Money." Transmotion 2.1&2 (2016): 131.
11. Book: Parker, R. J. . Serial Killer Groupies . December 26, 2014 . CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform . Illustrated by Aeternum Designs . 9781502540904 . Editing . Hartwell.
12. Book: Cawthorne, Nigel. Serial Killers and Mass Murderers: Profiles of the World's Most Barbaric Criminals. 2007. Ulysses Press.
13. Web site: Seriously Though, Why Were So Many Women Obsessed With Ted Bundy? . Women's Health . en-us . 7 May 2019.
14. Web site: Michaud. Stephen G.. The Only Living Witness: The True Story Of Ted Bundy. Crime Library.
15. News: Bundy's wife is pregnant – but she refuses to kiss, tell. . Salt Lake City, Utah . Deseret News Publishing Company. . September 30, 1981. April 25, 2011.
16. Levenson, Bob (January 24, 1989). "Courtroom Wife Fades Out of Sight, Not A Recent Visitor". Orlando Sentinel.
17. Barnard, Ian . Thamyris . The Racialization of Sexuality: The Queer Case of Jeffrey Dahmer. Rodopi . 7 . 1 & 2. 88. 1381-1312.
18. Web site: Peter. Fimrite. Michael. Taylor. No shortage of women who dream of snaring a husband on Death Row. San Francisco Chronicle. Hearst Corporation. San Francisco, California. March 27, 2005. May 22, 2012. July 10, 2013. https://web.archive.org/web/20130710181604/https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/No-shortage-of-women-who-dream-of-snaring-a-2689657.php. live.
19. Book: Corsini, Raymond Joseph . 1999. The Dictionary of Psychology. Psychology Press. 1-58391-028-X. 692.
20. News: Bailey . Holly . January 26, 2016 . Falling in love with the Unabomber . Yahoo! News . May 17, 2023.
21. News: Breivik 'gets love letters from 16-year-old girls'. June 18, 2012. The Local.
22. News: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and his fangirls. May 22, 2013. Charlotte. Allen. Los Angeles Times.
23. Web site: Beaumont. Hilary. 2015-02-24. Inside the World of Columbine-Obsessed Tumblr Bloggers. live. https://web.archive.org/web/20190623232157/https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kwpd4n/speaking-to-columbiners-about-depression-suicide-and-the-halifax-shooting-plot-232. 2019-06-23. 2021-02-19. www.vice.com. en.
24. News: 30 May 2005 . Karla the victim? . dead . https://web.archive.org/web/20110817164605/http://www.canada.com/national/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=dd0b56e2-5abb-48a0-9053-05fb4a1abfd5 . 17 August 2011 . 22 February 2024 . Canada.com.
25. Web site: 'Hot Felon' Jeremy Meeks released from federal prison and gets job offers . Veronica . Rocha . March 9, 2016 . LA Times.
26. Web site: The 'hot felon' is now a successful model . https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20220608/https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/hot-felon-jeremy-meeks-male-model-prison-milan-mens-fashion-week-new-york-a7796951.html . June 8, 2022 . subscription . live . June 19, 2017 . independent.co.uk.