Dysfunctional family explained

A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior and often child neglect or abuse on the part of individual parents occur continuously and regularly. Children that grow up in such families may think such a situation is normal. Dysfunctional families are primarily a result of two adults, one typically overtly abusive and the other codependent, and may also be affected by substance abuse or other forms of addiction, or sometimes by an untreated mental illness. Parents having grown up in a dysfunctional family may over-correct or emulate their own parents. In some cases, the dominant parent will abuse or neglect their children and the other parent will not object, misleading a child to assume blame.[1]

Examples

Dysfunctional family members have common features and behavior patterns as a result of their experiences within the family structure. This tends to reinforce the dysfunctional behavior, either through enabling or perpetuation. The family unit can be affected by a variety of factors.[2]

Common features

Nearly universal

Some features are common to most dysfunctional families:

Not universal

Though not universal among dysfunctional families, and by no means exclusive to them, the following features are typical of dysfunctional families:

Specific examples

There are certain times where families can become dysfunctional due to specific situational examples. Some of these include difficulty integrating into a new culture, strain in the relationship between nuclear and extended family members, children in a rebellion phase, and ideological differences in belief systems.

Laundry List

The program Adult Children of Alcoholics includes a "Laundry List", core literature of the program. This list has 14 different statements that relate to being an adult child of a parent with an alcohol addiction. These statements provide commentary on how children have been affected by the trauma of having alcoholic parents. Some highlights of the statements include, "confusing love and pity", "having low self-esteem", and having a "loss of identity". The Laundry List is a helpful tool in group therapy in order to show families that they are not alone in their struggles. Female children whose parents were alcoholics have an increased risk of developing depression. Male children of alcoholics are at a significantly higher risk for developing a substance use disorder.[4]

Parenting

Unhealthy signs

Unhealthy parenting signs, which could lead to a family becoming dysfunctional include:[5]

Dysfunctional styles

"Children as pawns"

One common dysfunctional parental behavior is a parent's manipulation of a child in order to achieve some outcome adverse to the other parent's rights or interests. Examples include verbal manipulation such as spreading gossip about the other parent, communicating with the parent through the child (and in the process exposing the child to the risks of the other parent's displeasure with that communication) rather than doing so directly, trying to obtain information through the child (spying), or causing the child to dislike the other parent, with insufficient or no concern for the damaging effects of the parent's behavior on the child. While many instances of such manipulation occur in shared custody situations that have resulted from separation or divorce, it can also take place in intact families, where it is known as triangulation.

List of other dysfunctional styles

Dynamical

Coalitions are subsystems within families with more rigid boundaries and are thought to be a sign of family dysfunction.[9]

Children

Unlike divorce, and to a lesser extent, separation, there is often no record of an "intact" family being dysfunctional. As a result, friends, relatives, and teachers of such children may be completely unaware of the situation. In addition, a child may be unfairly blamed for the family's dysfunction, and placed under even greater stress than those whose parents separate.

The six basic roles

Children growing up in a dysfunctional family have been known to adopt or be assigned one or more of the following six basic roles:[10]

Effects on children

Children that are a product of dysfunctional families, either at the time or as they grow older, may exhibit behavior that is inappropriate for their expected stage of development due to psychological distress.[15] Children of dysfunctional families may also behave in a manner that is relatively immature when compared to their peers. Conversely, other children may appear to emotionally "grow up too fast"; or be in a mixed mode (e.g. well-behaved, but unable to care for themselves.) Children from dysfunctional environments also have a tendency to demonstrate learned unhealthy attachments due to intergenerational dysfunctional parenting.[16]

The effects of a disordered upbringing may induce an array of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.[17] A disordered family environment unfortunately places these young individuals at a higher risk of engaging in more severe actions of self-harm and problematic conduct.[18] This troubled environment can also subject the youth to a significantly higher risk of becoming addicted to drugs or developing alcoholism, especially if parents or close peers have a history of substance use. Numerous studies have determined that deviant peer associations are generally associated with substance use and that parental use can account for one-half to two-thirds of future instances of chemical dependency.[19] There is also an increased risk of the young individual developing behavioral addictions[20] in the forms of gambling, pornography addictions, or engaging in other future detrimental activities such as compulsive spending.[21]

Children who are raised in dysfunctional environments are also at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder, including anorexia nervosa or binge eating disorder as an emotional coping method due to psychological distress.[22]

These young individuals may also have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships within their peer group, due to social apprehensions,[23] possible personality disorders, or post-traumatic stress disorders.[24] A child may also demonstrate oppositional defiant characteristics by rebelling against parental authority, and non-family adults, or conversely, upholding their family's values in the face of peer pressure. Children of disordered environments may also demonstrate a lack of self-discipline when their parents are not around, or develop procrastinating tendencies that can have detrimental effects on their educational/occupational obligations.[25]

Additionally, children may demonstrate social inadequacies by spending an inordinate amount of time engaging in activities that lack in-person social interaction.[26] This disordered upbringing can also promote the child to project aggressive behaviors on their peers by bullying or harassing others or becoming a victim of bullying.[27] Both of these roles often lead to an elevated risk of the child having low self-esteem issues, increased prevalence of isolation, and difficulties expressing emotions, a common effect related to emotional and physical abuse.[28]

A lack of parental structure and positive peer influences can lead young individuals to seek alternative forms of peer alliances, including peer groups that engage in juvenile delinquency and those who perform acts that are knowingly illegal or demonstrate symptoms of an oppositional defiant disorder.[29] This habitual behavior and environmental factors can also lead the troubled youth to a life of crime, or to become involved in gang activity.[30]

This lack of socially normative structure and defiant behavior is also notable in cases where sexual abuse was prevalent. Early sexual experiences can lead to sexually inappropriate behavior that could lead to future interest in pedophilia,[31] or facing charges that can result in the individual becoming a sex offender. A 1999 study determined that children who had experienced abusive sexual experiences, "as compared to those without, were more likely to be victims of physical family violence, to have run away, to be substance abusers, and to have family members with drug or alcohol problems" (Kellogg et al, 1999).[32] Additionally, the young individual may be at an elevated risk of becoming poor or homeless,[33] even in cases where the child's environment consisted of an average/above-average socioeconomic standing.

Further socialization problems can be demonstrated by children of dysfunctional families, including habitual or sudden academic performance problems.[34] This notion can be more apparent as the child may exhibit a severe lack of organizational skills in their day-to-day lives. These individuals are also at an elevated inability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships, which often includes distrusting others or even demonstrating paranoid behaviors that can be indicative of childhood trauma-induced psychosis and schizophrenia.[35] There is also a higher probability of the youth engaging in future unstable empathetical relationships, with higher tendencies to engage in more risky behavior, including sex with multiple partners, becoming pregnant, or becoming a parent of illegitimate children.[36]

Further dysfunctional behaviors can be perpetuated in other future relationships. An individual that was raised in a dysfunctional home environment may also pass this learned behavior on to their offspring, including their substance use habits, conflict resolution methods, and learned social boundaries.[37] These social inadequacies can result in individuals demonstrating self-protective behaviors, to compensate for the difference in their childhoods, as they may have the inability to practice positive self-care and effective emotional coping strategies.

In popular culture

References

References Cont.

23. Palmer, Nancie. (August 1997). Resilience in Adult Children of Alcoholics:A Nonpathological Approach to Social Work Practice, Health & Social Work, 22 (3) pp. 201–209, https://doi.org/10.1093/hsw/22.3.201

24. ACA Worldwide. (2022, April 14). Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families World Service Organization. Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families. Retrieved April 19, 2022, from https://adultchildren.org/

Further reading

Notes and References

  1. Book: Masteller . James . Stoop . David . 1991 . The Blame Game . Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: Healing Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families . revised and updated . ReadHowYouWant.com . 2011 . 222 . 9781459622937 . 20 October 2019 . People who grew up in dysfunctional families often feel that everything that goes wrong in the world is their fault..
  2. Book: Kaslow, Florence W.. Handbook of Relational Diagnosis and Dysfunctional Family Patterns. January 1996. Wiley-Interscience. 978-0471080787. Florence Kaslow.
  3. Book: Italy), International Conference on Information Processing and Management of Uncertainty in Knowledge-Based Systems (14th : 2012 : Catania . Advances in computational intelligence : 14th International Conference on Information Processing and Management of Uncertainty in Knowledge-Based Systems, IPMU 2012, Catania, Italy, July 9-13, 2012. Proceedings. . 2012 . Springer . 978-3-642-31709-5 . 802337663.
  4. Book: Italy), International Conference on Information Processing and Management of Uncertainty in Knowledge-Based Systems (14th : 2012 : Catania . Advances in computational intelligence : 14th International Conference on Information Processing and Management of Uncertainty in Knowledge-Based Systems, IPMU 2012, Catania, Italy, July 9-13, 2012. Proceedings. . 2012 . Springer . 978-3-642-31709-5 . 802337663.
  5. Book: The Abusing Family. Blair. Justice. Blair. Rita. April 1990. Insight Books. 978-0306434419. Revised.
  6. Book: Neuharth, Dan. If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World. Diane Publishing Company. 1999. 978-0788193835.
  7. Web site: Praise, encouragement and rewards. 2011-04-10. Raising Children Network. https://web.archive.org/web/20190328211650/https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/connecting-communicating/connecting/praise. 2019-03-28. live.
  8. 9
  9. 3127252 . 2011 . Whiteman . S. D. . McHale . S. M. . Soli . A. . Theoretical Perspectives on Sibling Relationships . Journal of Family Theory & Review . 3 . 2 . 124–139 . 10.1111/j.1756-2589.2011.00087.x . 21731581 .
  10. Book: Not My Kid: A Family's Guide to Kids and Drugs. Polson. Beth. Newton. Miller. Arbor Books / Kids of North Jersey Nurses. 1984. 978-0877956334. Virgil Miller Newton.
  11. Polson and Newton, pp. 81–84
  12. Polson and Newton, pp. 84–85
  13. Polson and Newton, pp. 86–90
  14. Polson and Newton, pp. 85–86
  15. Forgiving Our Parents: For Adult Children from Dysfunctional Families by Dwight Lee Wolter c. 1995. Except where individually noted
  16. Rees . Corrine . 2016 . Children's Attachments . Paediatrics and Child Health . 26 . 5 . 185–193 . 10.1016/j.paed.2015.12.007 .
  17. News: Good parents 'buffer' their kids' minds. 2010-09-21. The Sydney Morning Herald. 2012-06-13. AAP. 2018-03-24. https://web.archive.org/web/20180324223753/https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/good-parents-buffer-their-kids-minds-20100921-15kcm.html. live.
  18. Maniglio . Roberto . 2010 . The role of child sexual abuse in the etiology of suicide and non-suicidal self-injury . Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica. 124 . 1 . 30–41 . 10.1111/j.1600-0447.2010.01612.x . 20946202 . 35525949 . subscription .
  19. Dube . Shanta . 2003 . Childhood Abuse, Neglect, and Household Dysfunction and the Risk of Illicit Drug Use: The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study . Pediatrics. 111 . 3 . 564–572 . 10.1542/peds.111.3.564 . 12612237 .
  20. Zilberman . Noem . 2020 . Who becomes addicted and to what? psychosocial predictors of substance and behavioral addictive disorders . Psychiatry Research. 291 . 113221 . 10.1016/j.psychres.2020.113221 . 32562935 . 219559890 .
  21. Roberts . James . 2019 . Family conflict and adolescent compulsive buying behavior . Young Consumers. 20 . 3 . 208–218 . 10.1108/YC-10-2018-0870 . 199853490 .
  22. Sepúlveda . Rosa . 2020 . Identifying Loss of Control Eating within Childhood Obesity: The Importance of Family Environment and Child Psychological Distress . Children. 7 . 11 . 225 . 10.3390/children7110225 . 33187289 . 7696176 . free .
  23. Rogosch . Fred . 1994 . Illustrating the interface of family and peer relations through the study of child maltreatment . Social Development. 3 . 3 . 291–308 . 10.1111/j.1467-9507.1994.tb00046.x .
  24. Web site: Ozturk . Erndic . Betrayal trauma, dissociative experiences and dysfunctional family dynamics: Flashbacks, self-harming behaviors and suicide attempts in post-traumatic stress disorder and dissociative disorders . Medicine science.
  25. Book: Flett, Gordon . Procrastination and Task Avoidance . 1995 . Procrastination, Negative Self-Evaluation, and Stress in Depression and Anxiety . 137–167 . 10.1007/978-1-4899-0227-6_7 . 978-1-4899-0229-0 . https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4899-0227-6_7.
  26. Book: Conger, Rand . Advances in Clinical Child Psychology . 1981 . The Assessment of Dysfunctional Family Systems . 199–242 . 10.1007/978-1-4613-9808-0_6 . 978-1-4613-9810-3 . https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4613-9808-0_6.
  27. Web site: Sterling . John . 2008 . Understanding the Behavioral and Emotional Consequences of Child Abuse . Pediatrics.
  28. Web site: 2009-09-19 . Child Abuse . dead . https://web.archive.org/web/20100131221209/http://www.lbfdtraining.com/Pages/emt/sectiond/childabuse.html . 2010-01-31 . Long Beach Fire Department Training Center.
  29. Xiuyun . Lin . 2022 . A Systematic Review of Multiple Family Factors Associated with Oppositional Defiant Disorder . International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health . 19 . 17 . 10866 . 10.3390/ijerph191710866 . 36078582 . 9517877 . free .
  30. McNeil . Sharde . 2013 . Low-Income Families With Potential Adolescent Gang Involvement: A Structural Community Family Therapy Integration Model . American Journal of Family Therapy. 41 . 2 . 110–120 . 10.1080/01926187.2011.649110 . 143617044 . subscription .
  31. Glasser. M.. Kolvin. I.. Campbell. D.. Glasser. A.. Leitch. I.. Farrelly. S.. December 2001. Cycle of child sexual abuse: Links between being a victim and becoming a perpetrator. The British Journal of Psychiatry. 179. 6. 482–494. 10.1192/bjp.179.6.482. 11731348. free.
  32. Kellogg . Nancy . 1999 . Early sexual experiences among pregnant and parenting adolescents . Adolescence . 34 . 134 . 293–303 . 10494978 .
  33. Shelton . Katherine . 2015 . Risk Factors for Homelessness: Evidence From a Population-Based Study . Psychiatric Services. 60 . 4 . 465–472 . 10.1176/ps.2009.60.4.465 . 19339321 .
  34. Beal . Edward . 1997 . Academic Difficulties Found Within Dysfunctional Family Relationships . Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America. 6 . 3 . 579–591 . 10.1016/S1056-4993(18)30295-5 .
  35. Reed . J . 12 October 2005 . Childhood trauma, psychosis and schizophrenia: a literature review with theoretical and clinical implications . Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica . 112 . 5 . 330–350 . 10.1111/j.1600-0447.2005.00634.x . 16223421 . 5324960 . free .
  36. Ary . Dennis . 1999 . Development of Adolescent Problem Behavior . Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology . 27 . 2 . 141–150 . 10.1023/A:1021963531607 . 10400060 . 10140462 .
  37. Walker . Moira . 2007 . The inter-generational transmission of trauma: The effects of abuse on the survivor's relationship with their children and on the children themselves . European Journal of Psychotherapy & Counselling. 2 . 3 . 281–296 . 10.1080/13642539908400813 .