| Series: | Bottom |
| Series No: | 3 |
| Episode: | 6 |
| Producer: | Jon Plowman |
| Director: | Bob Spiers |
| Prev: | Finger |
"Carnival" is the sixth and final episode of the third and final series of British television sitcom Bottom. It was first broadcast on 10 February 1995.
The episode opens with Richie and Eddie sitting in "the best seats for the annual Hammersmith riot" – leaning out of their lounge window. While admiring the violence taking place during what is supposed to be a carnival parade, Richie and Eddie decide to loot a TV set "when Currys blows." They later return to the flat arguing over the fact that Eddie dropped the TV while being run over by the "riot squad" but, to his excitement, still made away with a rubber duck that "came free with the telly." Despite missing out on the coveted electrical goods, they still manage to pick up their shopping for the year, over 60 Orion VCRs (sequestering 43 in the attic), as well as a BBC video camera and tape which Richie stole from a BBC van, which he justifies by claiming he pays his television licence fee.
Richie reveals his motivations for the theft. He plans to film a series of home movies, making them both famous, thus leaving them with their "pick of the birds." After dismissing Eddie's screen pitches (namely a remake of 9½ Weeks and the original title Nude Birds Go Upstairs To Eddie's Bedroom) Richie states that instead he intends to film his own prime time current affairs discussion program, inspired by the successes of "the sexiest man on TV." As Eddie films Richie (sporting a white wig and a suit) descending the stairs as part of the introduction to a report on whether traffic wardens should be armed, Richie trips and falls down the stairs, through the bathroom door and head-first into the toilet. Eddie then suggests that if he had remembered to turn the camera on they would have had a good video to send into the fictional TV show Jeremy Beadle's Viciously Hilarious Domestic Violent Incidents. Newly inspired, Richie instead decides to return to the drawing room and agrees with Eddie's idea to film an (orchestrated) accident in which "you accidentally catch a dart in your head."
Eddie is next shown (dressed in an apron) wandering into their kitchen as he works at the stove, loudly expressing his hope that "no viciously hilarious accidents happen!" Richie ruins the first take by inadvertently throwing a dart into Eddie's eye instead of his forehead, necessitating a second take. A more subdued Eddie (who breaks the fourth wall to protest that in spite of the ostensible ordinariness of the day he has now lost the sight in one eye) opens the next take with Richie successfully managing to hit the target in the forehead this time. Compounding the injury by "accidentally" pouring a frying pan of burning fat over his body Eddie, after being set alight by Richie, hurls himself through the window.
As Eddie is recovering in some pain, Richie sheepishly reveals that the filming moved him to tears. Not because of Eddie's performance but, rather, due to the realisation that he had forgotten to put the tape into the camera. Eddie flatly refuses Richie's demand for a re-shoot as Richie angrily states that a blank tape is worthless. This gives him an idea — they will instead send a completely blank tape to Beadle's show, claiming they had forgotten that it should have contained footage of Richie's wife "sewing her head to the curtains." Richie suggests they check the tape is blank, finding a use for the VCRs Eddie had stolen. Eddie spends a year getting the video up and running (the act of unwrapping the package taking several months) and only finishes the eve of the following year's carnival. Despite Eddie's efforts leading the VCR to explode once the power is connected, they manage to get the tape up and running with the aid of an unfortunate repair man.
While eventually viewing the tape, they find out that, despite the recording being made in mute, it contains a film of the Prime Minister having an affair with two women. Richie hits upon the idea of using the tape for blackmail and phones the government stating their intentions. In the course of the conversation Richie accidentally uses his real name and hangs up in terror. He tells Eddie to phone instead and use an assumed name leading Eddie to ring and give the name "Richard Richard" when asked. As a result, the building is soon surrounded by the SAS. Eddie suggests turning the siege into a chance to "eat like kings" and demand food. Richie and Eddie's unfortunate inexperience with siege tactics results in a hail of bullets perforating the flat. In response to the SAS commander's demand to "throw down the video" Eddie complies by hurling the entire machine out of the window instead of just the tape, landing on their besiegers in the process. As Richie and Eddie debate the meaning of the last words they heard over the phone ("Go, A-squad!") several masked SAS operatives burst into the flat. They open fire as the panicked flatmates utter their last words — "Oh, shit!"[1] [2]
| Cast | Characters | |
|---|---|---|
| Rik Mayall | Richie | |
| Adrian Edmondson | Eddie |